Entertaining Budget Ideas

My husband and I are about to celebrate our 10 year anniversary. We are happily married with two very busy children. Times being what they are, we are finding that much of our expendable income is being spent on the children and their needs/activities. How do we find a balance so that we, as a couple, can have resources reserved for our activities? It feels like there is never anything left over at the end of the month for a babysitter and a couple tickets to the movies...

She said: First: Budget. Budget. Budget. If you don’t have a budget set up you should. You probably have funds allocated for rent/mortgage, food, utilities, gas, retirement, college funds etc., but you also have to budget for entertainment, and not just for the kids. Happy children only come from happy parents. All the ballet, or karate classes in the world won’t bring your kids joy if their parents are stressed out and miserable because they aren’t taking a break for a little fun too. You have just as much right to entertainment as your children, maybe more because they can go out and play with their friends every day to blow off steam. If you are like the rest of us, you can’t; you have too much to do.

Make sure you split the budget equally. Whatever amount you have allocated for entertainment should be split four ways with EACH of you getting an equal part. You are not a better parent for playing the martyr so your kids can do two activities instead of one. Then it is just a matter of prioritizing. Do you want that nice dinner out or the short romantic vacation? Save up by having a picnic in the park, or a glass of wine on the back deck after the kids go to bed. Time out to connect is important but need not be expensive. Make a list of inexpensive of free “play dates” for you and your husband and then open a special account. Put your entertainment money in there EVERY PAYCHECK and see how quickly it grows. But you can’t pull it out for new ballet shoes or a rainy day movie for the kids. Remember there are plenty of inexpensive or free entertainment options available for them too. Last word: Stick to that budget!

He said: Since this seems to be a question of money not necessarily time, it sounds like you need to prioritize. Couple time is important but it doesn’t have to be expensive. Consider spending your time together taking walks, picnics, playing tennis, or having a quiet dinner together after the kids are in bed. Even just a glass of wine by the fireplace will get you some of that much wanted and needed alone time.

Cut back on the money you spend on others. You can come up with thoughtful and inexpensive gifts such as offering to baby-sit for someone in the same situation, or running someone’s errands for a day, or doing their yard work, or a daunting task around their house like painting, or organizing a room. You should not feel the need to “Keep up with the Joneses.” People will understand that money is tight and if they don’t they probably don’t deserve that expensive gift you wanted to give anyway.

At your own birthdays or this anniversary you mentioned coming up, ask for gift certificates to restaurants or the movies, or even for free babysitting. People will appreciate knowing what it is you really want and you’ll appreciate their gift so much more.

Finally, you mentioned the kids are very busy. Cut back on the money you spend on their activities. By simplifying their schedules, you’ll automatically save money too. Remember when we were kids? We used to have this thing called the “outdoors.”